he...he...he

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare checks. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $90,000 a year."

The guy , wide-eyed, says "You're Bullshittin' me!"

The Social Worker says, "Yeah, well... You started it."

Hahahah.

A news man went up to a USMC Scout/Sniper and asked him. "Sir, when you shoot a terrorist. What do you feel?" The Marine thought for a moment and then replied. "Recoil.""

Texan's crotch is wet
Hope it's from the beer - OH GOD
His fly is open.

The rules are posted
You may not suck my titty
You Neanderthal.

I just rolled around,
Grabbed my tits, flashed my vag
For your lousy buck!

Violated ass
Sanitize with body spray.
Farting raspberries.

Oh? Your life story..?
I'm a naked therapist.
Please, give me money.

Pot-bellied drunk man
Thinks he drives a good bargain
"Ten for a blow job!"

"Rub against my cock."
His breath is hot, laced with gin
Soul quietly weeps.

Don't try to haggle
Prices are clearly listed
Not "Strippers For Less."

Marriage proposal
From leering behind the rack
Quite a romantic.

Sure, I'd love a drink!
Sucker. Bet you don't know it's
Ten dollar water.

Too long, didn't read:
Another naked night of:
Jerks, butts, tits and beer.